so a guy walks into a whorehouse (JOKE THREAD)

[Flicktitty]

*DISCLAIMER* THIS IS A JOKE THREAD! PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING POSTED.*

*BUT IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMETHING POSTED PLEASE PM ME AND I WILL REMOVE IT!*



A guy walks in to a whorehouse and asks to see the girls, the Madam says “ they’re all busy but one “ The guys says “I’ll take her”
The Madam say second door on the right.
He walks in and the room is dark and he hears a woman say “ Get naked I’m waitng for you”
So the guy strips, climbs in bed and starts screwing her but it hurts like hell and he says
“Your pussy feels like I’m screwing a rose bush !”
she says “Let me up I’ll take care of it “
She is gone a few minutes and climbs back in bed and he slips it in and everything feels fine .
He says “ Wow now you feel like you should , What did you do?? “















She said “ Oh went and peeled the scabs off “

[Flicktitty]

Q. What's the difference between Batman and a black man?









A. Batman can go out at night without Robin

[Mark (Ooo' Dang)]

hahaha

[Flicktitty]

A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?" "I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise," he replied. "Wow, that's amazing," she said, "How old are you?" "Twenty-six."


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A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her during coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this hom e to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.'

'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?'

The little girl replied, 'I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock.

[Flicktitty]

New Denny's Combo.

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In honor of the woman who birthed octuplets, Denny's is now offering a new breakfast combo.

Called the "Octo-Slam", you get 14 eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you pays the bill.

[Jenay]

[b][i]One day, a father and son go camping and when they get there, the son's dad starts to smoke. "Can i have some, daddy?" asked the son. "Can your dick reach your ass" asked the dad. "Nooo" said the son. "Then you can't have any!"

Later that night, the dad starts to drink beer. "Can i have some, daddy?" asked the son. "Can your dick reach your ass" asked the dad. "Nooo" said the son. "Then you can't have any!"

The next day, the father and son go to the store, the son buys a lotery ticket and wins a million dollers. "Can you share that with me?" asked the dad. "Can your dick reach your ass" asked the kid. "Yes! Yes, it can!" yelled the dad. "Well then, go fuck your self!"

[14k]

Two Muffins are in an oven getting baked

one muffin says to the other muffin.......is it hot in here or is it just me?

the other muffin replies "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"

[14k]

25 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women:

You can enjoy a beer all month long
Beer stains wash out
You don't have to wine and dine beer
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball
When your beer goes flat, you toss it out
Hangovers go away
A beer label comes off without a fight
Beer is never late
Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer
Beer never gets a headache
After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents
A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer
If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head
A beer always goes down easy
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty
You can share a beer with your friends
You always know you're the first one to pop a beer
Beer is always wet
Beer doesn't demand equality
You can have a beer in public
A beer doesn't care when you come
A frigid beer is a good beer
You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good
If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony

[X1nom3D]

these are some good jokes, haha.

[mmm240]

These are some old posts

[J240sxxx]

Yezir

[X1nom3D]

These are some old posts

dear mr. obvious. I just read them, so they're new to me. kthnx.

[mmm240]

You get butt hurt easily. Your girlfriends cheating on you, you should probably kill yourself.

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